Under the Microscope

Today I spent much of my afternoon reading through the posts contributed on a fellow alumni's myspace. The topic of discussion? Accountability in the Church body at large. There was a general air of discontent and frustration regarding the slow and seductive pull that power has on an individual. When does the intoxication actually begin and what can we do to guard against it's gravitational pull in our own lives? How many private indiscretions have to become public scandals before we take personal ownership and responsibility?

While discussing this matter with a close friend, she reminded me of this: "You can rest assured that before God judges a man or woman publicly He has spent years judging them in private." I couldn't agree with her more. Such is the compassionate nature of our Father. Pastor Keith Moore says this in effect: "God doesn't want you to miss it. He wants to lead you. And so if you're not hearing Him, He will tell you again. And if you don't hear Him, then He will tell you again. And if you miss it, well, He will tell you again. And if you still don't hear, then He will give you a dream. And if you didn't get it, then He will give you another dream. And if you still don't hear Him, then He will send someone to tell you. And if you don't hear them, He will send another person to tell you. And if you still.....do you get my drift? This could go on for years. Look at the account of this Israelites in Exodus. He is so longsuffering and so patient with us. Yet, I am learning that God's mercy can also take on the form of judgment in my own life--that is--if I am unwillingly to judge myself. And if I continue to ignore the little urges to from the Holy Spirit to change.

Yes, when a public figure in the Church Body is under public scrutiny surely even this, is God's mercy--as painful as it is to the flesh and to our ego.

The problem with ego, particularly if you are in some degree of lime light, is that we start to believe our own press. It's like we diligently follow the feedback of our fans...the groupies that are mesmerized with the way we talk, the way we move and the way we act. A number of years back, a friend and I were discussing the implications of accountability and the need for us to establish preliminary guidelines of what accountability looked like in practical terms. Accountability was new to us and we were kind of adding, subtracting and revising as we went along. Then all of a sudden her tone became somber and direct as she said to me: "If you are going to be impressed with my giftings and my anointing then we cannot be friends. I have had enough of that in my life. I do not need a friend who is impressed with me. I need the knife--brutal and honest. I need to know the truth about me."

That was almost ten years ago and I have never forgotten it. And although we live hundreds..possibly a thousand...miles apart she is-- hands down-- the most honest force of truth in my life (outside of the Word of God). I do have mentors and other friends that hold me accountable in areas. But she by far has the most holistic look into my life where even the sacred and treasured, yes, even "cherished sins" are up for scrutiny. Sounds uncomfortable, doesn't it? Yes, but surprisingly it is quite liberating. It is a safeguard that continually helps me to "overcome" myself. Because let me tell you, I can get in the way of God's best for my life. Can anyone relate?

Authentic accountability is a deep dive into humility. And our willingness to clothe ourselves in it will be the protection we need from the seductive pull of power unchecked and imbalanced.