Things have been hopping since the last time we spoke. I am happy to announce to all my readers out there in cyberspace that Darron and I are going to be married on May 31, 2008!
I cannot even begin to express our adulation. But since you're wondering about specifics, I will willingly indulge you.
Darron and I have courted for almost three years. A longer stint than what we initially planned but a necessary one since we felt we needed to practice financial responsibility. Getting married older has its advantages; however, the principal disadvantage is that at my age, you may have a little more debt than you should have. And since finances is hands down the source of great strife and tension in a marriage, we felt strongly that we had to gain some insight on how to tackle it so that we wouldn't fall into the same traps as so many couples do in this arena. Talk about stretching!!!
Last December I got a call from my pining Beloved (girls, ya gotta love that!) that we needed to get this "show" on the road. After discussing what the wedding day should look and feel like, we began to talk about a preliminary budget that could make our wedding day affordable yet elegant at the same time.
We started planning it the week of Valentine's Day and was able to secure my fairy-tale like venue, Ashton Gardens, that week! This was such a miracle because we initially thought it was out of our price range. And although we had settled upon having our wedding at a beautiful church in north Houston, a divine slot opened up for us to have it at our dream location. What a God! And to be able to secure such a well sought-after location three months before our wedding day is awesome indeed!
Got a great deal on my dress! Wait till you see me in it! It was shipped in two weeks (record breaking time so that I can get it altered in time for my bridal portraits). My photographer helped me find this great make up artist and so she'll be doing both my make up for my engagement, bridal and wedding photos! I have had SO much fun! And it has been quite smooth.
So I can cross off marrying my Sweetheart now.
We're 87 days out from our glorious union! And I feel blessed and at peace all at the same time!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
1001 Days From Now
The year is 2011. Just take a moment to look at that year and let it set for a bit.
Time marches on so quickly. Before we know it a decade or two has slipped by, almost between our fingers. Just in my three short decades, I wonder how many words I have left unsaid; plans I have left undone?
During my Teen Mania Days we were driven to almost the point of obsession with Life Goals and Action Plans. Those were some of the most formative and character-development days of my life. I often found myself gritting my teeth through aggressive challenges such as climbing Pike's Peak on just two hours of sleep, traveling 24 + hours to provide the ground support needed for Aquire the Fire's first Dome event, staying up late hours counseling young girls, and wrestling with my own insecurities and adverse issues. Man, we lived to the hilt. However, in my effort to find a natural hum and rhythm to life, I let go of a lot of that determined living that was expected of us out in the red hills of East Texas.
I can say with all honesty that I was awakened out of a lullish state as I was perusing through a friend's website. Her name is Kim Jarman and she is one of the most GIFTED photographers I have ever seen. Check out her site at kimberlyjarman.com. I love her work! Anyway, while enjoying the pictures, I happened upon her blog and thought I might as well take a look. She had written an entry that got my attention and so I wanted to share it with you. A few close friends challenged Kim to articulate 101 goals that she could accomplish in 1001 days....that's three years folks! Hence the title: "1001 Days From Now".
I loved her list and thought that I would prepare and share one for all my readers out there.
I desparately need the accountability and hope that the constant questions from my friends regarding where I am at in my List will create some wind for sailing and even soaring to successfully completing my list. Hope that you will badger me about it!
Okay, here goes:
101 Things in 1001 Days--January 23, 2008
1. Marry my Sweetheart
2. Plan an elegant and yet affordable wedding--debt free
3. Financially bless the family I am staying with
4. Financially bless my surrogate family that allows me to stay over
5. To serve as an effective tool to help my parents realize their dreams (especially financial independence)
6. To finish typing out Darron's manuscript
7. Begin research on Greeting Card Business
8. Develop effective strategy and timeline for execution of Greeting Card Business
9. Significantly grow my Ameriplan business to 1,000 in my organization
10. Duplicate myself in my IBO's to do the same
11. Complete my Teacher's Certification for High school and Middle School/ Register for School
12. Obtain my Masters Degree (Possibly Education)
13. Get certified as a Life Coach/Motivational Speaker (Biblically based principles)
14. Complete manuscript for my first book
15. Go on writing retreats two times a year
16. Write two more manuscripts that hold value and meaning
17. Plan one successful youth event
18. Plan curriculum for small to mid-size churches
19. Develop an effective "Teach the teachers" program
20 Go on a cruise with my husband
21. Go on a cruise with Brenda
22. Visit Brenda twice a year
23. Help Brenda put in writing the anointed ideas she has for college women
24. Help Candria with cookbook
25. Help Tamika with Youth line
26. Truly invest in the God-given visions of my friends
27. Help the Schneiders with their vision
28. Help my sister find her unique and individual "voice"
29. Have children
30. Begin a robust Emergency Fund
31. Begin a robust Savings Plan (Short term and Long Term)
32. Begin a robust Retirement Plan for Darron and I
33. Begin a Savings Plan to care for both of our parents
34. Purchase a home
35. Begin an aggressive and strategic way to pay mortgage
36. Expand the life of my car to 250 K
37. Buy all cars in cash
38. Take refresher English and Grammar Courses
39. Seek and avenue to minister to women in churches across Houston
40. Seek and avenue to minister to singles
41. Seek an avenue to minister to youth
42. Grow movie collection (especially classics and black and whites)
43. Consolidate quote collectiion
44. Update wardrobe (professional and casual)
45. Update house furnishing and décor
46. Lead a debt-free lifestyle
47. Pay off student loans
48. Take Financial Courses at Church and other venues
49. Read Financial and Business Books
50. Read Educational Books
51. Take an intermediate Piano Course
52. Take a Harp Class
53. Take a course on massages
54. Perform regular deep cleanings in my home
55. Exercise three times a week (aerobic/spin)
56. Take swim class and become a confident swimmer
57. Eat more fruit--as a daily regiment
58. Take a photography class
59. Get monthly pedicure and manicures (Aaaaahhhhhh!)
60. Complete a new book each month rather than segments of it
61. Become more internet savvy (gain mastery)
62. Cultivate the presence of God in my home and life
63. Create and protect an atmosphere in which the peace of God is our home
64. Place sermons in one folder/binder for further development and easy retrieval
65. Get new glasses and contacts
66. Teeth cleaning and whitening
67. Braces (Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!) I am praying that they'll be invalign (oh, the vanity!)
68. Sister and niece nights
69. Reach out to my in-laws in a way that is meaningful to them
70. Reach out to all my nieces and nephews in a way that is extremely meaningful to them
71. Celebrate birthdays and anniversaries of my family members
72. Honor my grandmother and great aunt by spending quality time with them and sending flowers
73. Send flowers to my future mother in laws a few times a year
74. Develop my spectrum of recipes especially beef
75. Lead a healthy lifestyle
76. Have a house full of healthy and tasty snacks
77. Start Life insurances
78. Get regular facials; take care of my skin
79. Be current on Current Events and Politics
80. Learn how to fly airplanes on Darron's video assimilation
81. Create an office or work station for Darron to work on his model planes in our home
82. Be intentional about working on my writing craft
83. Buy a TV guardian
84. Take care of hair (healthy)
85. Give to Keith moore, bill winston, Kenneth copeland's ministries
86. Take vitamins and supplements daily
87. Shop at Whole foods and central market, farmers market
88. Buy a digital camera that's computer compatible
89. Complete 3 Beth Moore Bible Studies for personal study
90. Apply what I have learned from the Happy Hunters regarding Healing and Authority
91. Apply what I have learned from Bill Winston re: The Kingdom in my work and life
92. Financially sow into a ORU student
93. Help Darron in accomplishing all of his dreams
94. Minister with Darron in teaching and writing
95. Create some memorable Father and Son moments for Darron and his son
96. Host some private dinner parties for close friends a few times a year
97. Hone my craft as a business woman
98. Hone and father develop message on the Garden of Eden (WWW from April 06)
99. Be intentional about developing relationship with my cousin, Melodee
100. Sow into Uresa for graduation/ Read through my Bible
With that being said, Happy New Year, Saints! So tell me, what are you expecting for this year? If you could pen down 101 things you'd like to accomplish in 1001 days, what would they be? How about in 101 days? That would take us to May 2, 2008. What do you say? Would you like to share with me your list?
Millionaire Dollar Challenge:
Divide your list into three groups of 33. What 33 things would you like to accomplish in 2008? What items can you accomplish with relative ease and what item will require more preparation and training? Out of the first group of 33, which items fall in your Top Ten list and which fall in your Top Five list? What item is #1 on your list (I bet you can figure out which one mine is! ) Oh, don't forget the outstanding two items that didn't fall into the three groups of 33.
Partner with a friend (possibly a Type "A" personality who will provide that additional support to accomplishing your goals). Get ready to stretch and grow! Happy trails!
Time marches on so quickly. Before we know it a decade or two has slipped by, almost between our fingers. Just in my three short decades, I wonder how many words I have left unsaid; plans I have left undone?
During my Teen Mania Days we were driven to almost the point of obsession with Life Goals and Action Plans. Those were some of the most formative and character-development days of my life. I often found myself gritting my teeth through aggressive challenges such as climbing Pike's Peak on just two hours of sleep, traveling 24 + hours to provide the ground support needed for Aquire the Fire's first Dome event, staying up late hours counseling young girls, and wrestling with my own insecurities and adverse issues. Man, we lived to the hilt. However, in my effort to find a natural hum and rhythm to life, I let go of a lot of that determined living that was expected of us out in the red hills of East Texas.
I can say with all honesty that I was awakened out of a lullish state as I was perusing through a friend's website. Her name is Kim Jarman and she is one of the most GIFTED photographers I have ever seen. Check out her site at kimberlyjarman.com. I love her work! Anyway, while enjoying the pictures, I happened upon her blog and thought I might as well take a look. She had written an entry that got my attention and so I wanted to share it with you. A few close friends challenged Kim to articulate 101 goals that she could accomplish in 1001 days....that's three years folks! Hence the title: "1001 Days From Now".
I loved her list and thought that I would prepare and share one for all my readers out there.
I desparately need the accountability and hope that the constant questions from my friends regarding where I am at in my List will create some wind for sailing and even soaring to successfully completing my list. Hope that you will badger me about it!
Okay, here goes:
101 Things in 1001 Days--January 23, 2008
1. Marry my Sweetheart
2. Plan an elegant and yet affordable wedding--debt free
3. Financially bless the family I am staying with
4. Financially bless my surrogate family that allows me to stay over
5. To serve as an effective tool to help my parents realize their dreams (especially financial independence)
6. To finish typing out Darron's manuscript
7. Begin research on Greeting Card Business
8. Develop effective strategy and timeline for execution of Greeting Card Business
9. Significantly grow my Ameriplan business to 1,000 in my organization
10. Duplicate myself in my IBO's to do the same
11. Complete my Teacher's Certification for High school and Middle School/ Register for School
12. Obtain my Masters Degree (Possibly Education)
13. Get certified as a Life Coach/Motivational Speaker (Biblically based principles)
14. Complete manuscript for my first book
15. Go on writing retreats two times a year
16. Write two more manuscripts that hold value and meaning
17. Plan one successful youth event
18. Plan curriculum for small to mid-size churches
19. Develop an effective "Teach the teachers" program
20 Go on a cruise with my husband
21. Go on a cruise with Brenda
22. Visit Brenda twice a year
23. Help Brenda put in writing the anointed ideas she has for college women
24. Help Candria with cookbook
25. Help Tamika with Youth line
26. Truly invest in the God-given visions of my friends
27. Help the Schneiders with their vision
28. Help my sister find her unique and individual "voice"
29. Have children
30. Begin a robust Emergency Fund
31. Begin a robust Savings Plan (Short term and Long Term)
32. Begin a robust Retirement Plan for Darron and I
33. Begin a Savings Plan to care for both of our parents
34. Purchase a home
35. Begin an aggressive and strategic way to pay mortgage
36. Expand the life of my car to 250 K
37. Buy all cars in cash
38. Take refresher English and Grammar Courses
39. Seek and avenue to minister to women in churches across Houston
40. Seek and avenue to minister to singles
41. Seek an avenue to minister to youth
42. Grow movie collection (especially classics and black and whites)
43. Consolidate quote collectiion
44. Update wardrobe (professional and casual)
45. Update house furnishing and décor
46. Lead a debt-free lifestyle
47. Pay off student loans
48. Take Financial Courses at Church and other venues
49. Read Financial and Business Books
50. Read Educational Books
51. Take an intermediate Piano Course
52. Take a Harp Class
53. Take a course on massages
54. Perform regular deep cleanings in my home
55. Exercise three times a week (aerobic/spin)
56. Take swim class and become a confident swimmer
57. Eat more fruit--as a daily regiment
58. Take a photography class
59. Get monthly pedicure and manicures (Aaaaahhhhhh!)
60. Complete a new book each month rather than segments of it
61. Become more internet savvy (gain mastery)
62. Cultivate the presence of God in my home and life
63. Create and protect an atmosphere in which the peace of God is our home
64. Place sermons in one folder/binder for further development and easy retrieval
65. Get new glasses and contacts
66. Teeth cleaning and whitening
67. Braces (Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!) I am praying that they'll be invalign (oh, the vanity!)
68. Sister and niece nights
69. Reach out to my in-laws in a way that is meaningful to them
70. Reach out to all my nieces and nephews in a way that is extremely meaningful to them
71. Celebrate birthdays and anniversaries of my family members
72. Honor my grandmother and great aunt by spending quality time with them and sending flowers
73. Send flowers to my future mother in laws a few times a year
74. Develop my spectrum of recipes especially beef
75. Lead a healthy lifestyle
76. Have a house full of healthy and tasty snacks
77. Start Life insurances
78. Get regular facials; take care of my skin
79. Be current on Current Events and Politics
80. Learn how to fly airplanes on Darron's video assimilation
81. Create an office or work station for Darron to work on his model planes in our home
82. Be intentional about working on my writing craft
83. Buy a TV guardian
84. Take care of hair (healthy)
85. Give to Keith moore, bill winston, Kenneth copeland's ministries
86. Take vitamins and supplements daily
87. Shop at Whole foods and central market, farmers market
88. Buy a digital camera that's computer compatible
89. Complete 3 Beth Moore Bible Studies for personal study
90. Apply what I have learned from the Happy Hunters regarding Healing and Authority
91. Apply what I have learned from Bill Winston re: The Kingdom in my work and life
92. Financially sow into a ORU student
93. Help Darron in accomplishing all of his dreams
94. Minister with Darron in teaching and writing
95. Create some memorable Father and Son moments for Darron and his son
96. Host some private dinner parties for close friends a few times a year
97. Hone my craft as a business woman
98. Hone and father develop message on the Garden of Eden (WWW from April 06)
99. Be intentional about developing relationship with my cousin, Melodee
100. Sow into Uresa for graduation/ Read through my Bible
With that being said, Happy New Year, Saints! So tell me, what are you expecting for this year? If you could pen down 101 things you'd like to accomplish in 1001 days, what would they be? How about in 101 days? That would take us to May 2, 2008. What do you say? Would you like to share with me your list?
Millionaire Dollar Challenge:
Divide your list into three groups of 33. What 33 things would you like to accomplish in 2008? What items can you accomplish with relative ease and what item will require more preparation and training? Out of the first group of 33, which items fall in your Top Ten list and which fall in your Top Five list? What item is #1 on your list (I bet you can figure out which one mine is! ) Oh, don't forget the outstanding two items that didn't fall into the three groups of 33.
Partner with a friend (possibly a Type "A" personality who will provide that additional support to accomplishing your goals). Get ready to stretch and grow! Happy trails!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
From Auto-Pilot to Total Awareness
Exactly one-and-a-half hours later I climbed out of my car in front of my blessed abode. It never ceases to amaze me how a simple 35-mile commute takes up so much of my mornings and evenings. Despite the length of time, I have purposed in my heart to transform that time into prayer and meditation or just some time to enjoy some great Christmas music.
I was driving a loaner car that the dealership provided for me while my car was being serviced. There’s a great testimony in that story which hopefully I will get to share with you later; however, I had plans on enjoying my Bluebell cookies and cream ice cream after getting settled in for the evening. Instead I felt this quiet yearning to connect with the Lord. It was so gentle I almost overlooked it. But it was as if the precious Holy Spirit was wooing me to be still for once and listen. I have had a few items on the spiritual docket that I have wanted to run by Him but had so busied myself with my relationship with my Beloved, working overtime and spending time with my family that I hadn’t earnestly sought the Lord’s presence or just basked in His presence.
So I stopped in mid-stride and turned back to my bed and waited. And then I waited some more. I didn’t grab my Bible because I didn’t want to assume that I knew what He wanted to say to me. I found myself praying in tongues for a few moments and then quietly worshipping. Then He came, as He always does…so faithful and so true. In the midst of my preoccupation with life, the precious Lamb of God stilled my heart and my feet so I could gain some re-direction. What a God!
Million Dollar Question:
Are you going 90-miles an hour on daily basis? What drives you (good or bad or indifferent)? Is there some preoccupation that has your heart? Your mind? Your gifts?
I want to challenge you with your current preoccupation.
Mark Chirona teaches that there are subtle inclinations of the leading of the Spirit in your life. Be aware. Be conscious. Stop going through life on auto-pilot. Stop going through the motions. Be attentive to His leadership and to His love.
Table Talk:
As you begin to identify what preoccupation has your heart and mind, would you share that with me? Please let me know how the Lord stills your feet and heart with His love.
I was driving a loaner car that the dealership provided for me while my car was being serviced. There’s a great testimony in that story which hopefully I will get to share with you later; however, I had plans on enjoying my Bluebell cookies and cream ice cream after getting settled in for the evening. Instead I felt this quiet yearning to connect with the Lord. It was so gentle I almost overlooked it. But it was as if the precious Holy Spirit was wooing me to be still for once and listen. I have had a few items on the spiritual docket that I have wanted to run by Him but had so busied myself with my relationship with my Beloved, working overtime and spending time with my family that I hadn’t earnestly sought the Lord’s presence or just basked in His presence.
So I stopped in mid-stride and turned back to my bed and waited. And then I waited some more. I didn’t grab my Bible because I didn’t want to assume that I knew what He wanted to say to me. I found myself praying in tongues for a few moments and then quietly worshipping. Then He came, as He always does…so faithful and so true. In the midst of my preoccupation with life, the precious Lamb of God stilled my heart and my feet so I could gain some re-direction. What a God!
Million Dollar Question:
Are you going 90-miles an hour on daily basis? What drives you (good or bad or indifferent)? Is there some preoccupation that has your heart? Your mind? Your gifts?
I want to challenge you with your current preoccupation.
Mark Chirona teaches that there are subtle inclinations of the leading of the Spirit in your life. Be aware. Be conscious. Stop going through life on auto-pilot. Stop going through the motions. Be attentive to His leadership and to His love.
Table Talk:
As you begin to identify what preoccupation has your heart and mind, would you share that with me? Please let me know how the Lord stills your feet and heart with His love.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Being Grateful—Recounting God’s Faithfulness
When was the last time you have actively meditated upon the faithfulness of God? It’s amazing how short our memories are—particularly in the heat of a battle. Before we know it, we are reevaluating God’s goodness. Was God good to you last time? Well, why wouldn’t He be good to you this time? We have to be careful not to allow difficult challenges to bring on a temporary amnesia. An amnesia that is not called for and is in truth--very ungrateful.
My favorite women’s Bible Study teacher, Beth Moore, always says, “If we had the lives of ease that we have been praying for—our lives wouldn’t even make a good book!” But to have the life that is worth reading about, you’ve got to go through some storms and face some high mountains. We’ve got to experience those nail-biting moments when all seems lost BUT for the faithfulness of God! I hope I am stirring your faith up today!
During this season would you pause and begin to recount all the times God has proven Himself faithful to you? Think about all the times when you were facing impossible odds. One of the most inspiring stories in the Bible is the jubilant victory Sarah and Abraham experienced when against all odds they had a bouncing baby boy at age 90 and 100! Imagine the laughter that occurred in the middle of the night as her stomach began to grow with each passing month. I can just hear Sarah giggling from outside of her bedroom door, “I am going to be a mother! Me. Sarah. The one who was once barren. The fruitless streak has finally been broken! And why?—because Sarah counted God faithful.
In Genesis 21:6-7 it states, “Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." And she added, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age."
God specializes in the impossible cases! I want to encourage you to be deliberate in celebrating all the wonderful things that God has done for you this year. Recall all the hard cases. Remember: God has an excellent track record!
My favorite women’s Bible Study teacher, Beth Moore, always says, “If we had the lives of ease that we have been praying for—our lives wouldn’t even make a good book!” But to have the life that is worth reading about, you’ve got to go through some storms and face some high mountains. We’ve got to experience those nail-biting moments when all seems lost BUT for the faithfulness of God! I hope I am stirring your faith up today!
During this season would you pause and begin to recount all the times God has proven Himself faithful to you? Think about all the times when you were facing impossible odds. One of the most inspiring stories in the Bible is the jubilant victory Sarah and Abraham experienced when against all odds they had a bouncing baby boy at age 90 and 100! Imagine the laughter that occurred in the middle of the night as her stomach began to grow with each passing month. I can just hear Sarah giggling from outside of her bedroom door, “I am going to be a mother! Me. Sarah. The one who was once barren. The fruitless streak has finally been broken! And why?—because Sarah counted God faithful.
In Genesis 21:6-7 it states, “Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." And she added, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age."
God specializes in the impossible cases! I want to encourage you to be deliberate in celebrating all the wonderful things that God has done for you this year. Recall all the hard cases. Remember: God has an excellent track record!
Monday, November 5, 2007
The "S" Word
Sorry for the delay in writing. I didn't forget you! I'm back and I sure did miss you!
So what is the "S" word, you ask. Well, it's submission. Now before you cringe at the sound of the word coming off your lips, I want to share with you my own personal journey into true freedom and liberation. Through a week long series of intermittent conversations, a dear friend and I contemplated upon this counter-cultural word. Although both zealous believers, admittedly we were failing in this category. How do you respect someone who doesn't respect you? I mean isn't respect earned? At least that's what we've been told all these years.
The danger in hearing a mantra over and over again is this--it can be mistaken as truth.
But no where in scripture do we find the phrase, "Respect has to be earned." But you will find in the Holy Writ that that we are commanded to give respect and honor--even to ungodly leadership. And in our case, if the leadership happens to be a believer, because they are human, sometimes they fall privy to their flesh and do things that are self-motivated. Yet, that does not relieve us of our responsibility for honor.
I was listening to Pastor Keith Moore (www.moorelife.org). You can download his sermons for free on his website. Anyway, he said that even when you are unable to respect the person, then respect the "place". In other words, respect the position because the position is of God.
And when we respect the place, we won't fall out of grace. I wish I would have grasped this truth, years ago. My professional life would have been a whole lot sweeter!
For me, the battle had been in how I had previously viewed the male leadership within my life. From my perspective they tended to lack something. If it wasn't passion, then it was vision. If it wasn't vision then it was commitment. And if it wasn't commitment then it was spirituality. Subconsciously, I was measuring them against myself thereby making myself not Christ the standard! How haughty is that?!
Being a woman of action, I couldn't wait on men who were plagued with passivity or indecision or doubt. So I leaped ahead of them or prodded or pushed. Is it any wonder why the hail and sleet was leaving me cold and miserable! I was not under the protective covering.
I must have been a sight! And that disdain and critique kept men at a safe distance. Let's say at least a couple of miles or so.
Yet on the inside, I so desperately wanted the man to meet the standard. To meet my expectations. To be strong. To be valiant. Please see me! Please save and rescue me!
But instead of men hearing my silent cry they intercepted another poignant message--disrespect. I remember in college a friend commented that if it weren't for Christ I would be a feminist. That's not something I wanted to be associated with because feminists seemed "independent" just for the sake of being independent. They appeared to lack the softness that a man yearns for in a woman and I didn't want to convey that hard spirit. My friend Lori told me that independence is a spirit. And in today's society it is counter-cultural to resist that spirit. It goes against everything we have been taught.
I mean what is the role of a helpmeet anyway, ladies? I mean, isn't that one of our "core" and essential roles? Within the last year I have discovered that the word used for "helpmeet" referenced in the Book of Genesis and used for the woman is used again but only for one--the Holy Spirit. It absolutely humbles and leaves me utterly speechless to know that God has given me a role that significant, that precious, that influential and that powerful that He would use a word that is uniquely used to describe one of the essential functions of the Holy Ghost! Lord, have mercy!
I am just beginning to grasp...and I mean it's in a fledgling and extremely developmental form..but I am just beginning to grasp this truth: I am an influencer and the man serves as a doer. Similar to how the Holy Spirit is the Helper and we are the doers. The Holy Spirit never usurps nor does he try to take the reins away from man. He gently speaks, impresses upon the heart, nudges but he does not push or dominate. He let's man do. But the Holy Spirit can't help unless he is doing something in which He can come along and help.
All this time, I pushed and dominated. If he wasn't doing it right, then I wanted the reins so that it could be done and done right! I was convinced I was right. But how many of you know you can be right and still be wrong. Your spirit and your motives can be so corrupted with "your way" of doing things and your "need to be right" as the expense of relationship, that you miss the whole crux of the entire matter.
How can that man become comfortable in his own skin and within those "big"shoes he's trying to fill, if I keep tripping him up with my insatiable need for the reins?
Love must be our motivation. Our reason. Our fuel. The God kind of Love is the Greatest Commandment and everything springs from this. And if I will love (respect, admire, esteem, value) the men God have placed within my life, God will make sure that His daughter is taken care of and reaps the rewards of the God kind of Love.
The "S" Word or submission, although hard on the flesh and hard on my self-will, is liberating for the spirit. God's way is always the best and is the better way. How can I be sure, you ask. Because God is love, and Love never fails! Love is not a feeling. Love is a Person. Love is God! And this is my determined resolve--to truly please the Lord by obeying His commandment of Love.
Million Dollar Question:
What does respect look like in practical terms to the male leader(s) in your life, women? The tone of your voice? Eye-contact? How you speak of him in his absence and in his presence? Body language? Who's help can you solicit to serve as a live camera to mirror back to you how you are doing in this critical area?
Men, I don't have any questions for you on this one. Just pray for us. We really do need you in our lives!
So what is the "S" word, you ask. Well, it's submission. Now before you cringe at the sound of the word coming off your lips, I want to share with you my own personal journey into true freedom and liberation. Through a week long series of intermittent conversations, a dear friend and I contemplated upon this counter-cultural word. Although both zealous believers, admittedly we were failing in this category. How do you respect someone who doesn't respect you? I mean isn't respect earned? At least that's what we've been told all these years.
The danger in hearing a mantra over and over again is this--it can be mistaken as truth.
But no where in scripture do we find the phrase, "Respect has to be earned." But you will find in the Holy Writ that that we are commanded to give respect and honor--even to ungodly leadership. And in our case, if the leadership happens to be a believer, because they are human, sometimes they fall privy to their flesh and do things that are self-motivated. Yet, that does not relieve us of our responsibility for honor.
I was listening to Pastor Keith Moore (www.moorelife.org). You can download his sermons for free on his website. Anyway, he said that even when you are unable to respect the person, then respect the "place". In other words, respect the position because the position is of God.
And when we respect the place, we won't fall out of grace. I wish I would have grasped this truth, years ago. My professional life would have been a whole lot sweeter!
For me, the battle had been in how I had previously viewed the male leadership within my life. From my perspective they tended to lack something. If it wasn't passion, then it was vision. If it wasn't vision then it was commitment. And if it wasn't commitment then it was spirituality. Subconsciously, I was measuring them against myself thereby making myself not Christ the standard! How haughty is that?!
Being a woman of action, I couldn't wait on men who were plagued with passivity or indecision or doubt. So I leaped ahead of them or prodded or pushed. Is it any wonder why the hail and sleet was leaving me cold and miserable! I was not under the protective covering.
I must have been a sight! And that disdain and critique kept men at a safe distance. Let's say at least a couple of miles or so.
Yet on the inside, I so desperately wanted the man to meet the standard. To meet my expectations. To be strong. To be valiant. Please see me! Please save and rescue me!
But instead of men hearing my silent cry they intercepted another poignant message--disrespect. I remember in college a friend commented that if it weren't for Christ I would be a feminist. That's not something I wanted to be associated with because feminists seemed "independent" just for the sake of being independent. They appeared to lack the softness that a man yearns for in a woman and I didn't want to convey that hard spirit. My friend Lori told me that independence is a spirit. And in today's society it is counter-cultural to resist that spirit. It goes against everything we have been taught.
I mean what is the role of a helpmeet anyway, ladies? I mean, isn't that one of our "core" and essential roles? Within the last year I have discovered that the word used for "helpmeet" referenced in the Book of Genesis and used for the woman is used again but only for one--the Holy Spirit. It absolutely humbles and leaves me utterly speechless to know that God has given me a role that significant, that precious, that influential and that powerful that He would use a word that is uniquely used to describe one of the essential functions of the Holy Ghost! Lord, have mercy!
I am just beginning to grasp...and I mean it's in a fledgling and extremely developmental form..but I am just beginning to grasp this truth: I am an influencer and the man serves as a doer. Similar to how the Holy Spirit is the Helper and we are the doers. The Holy Spirit never usurps nor does he try to take the reins away from man. He gently speaks, impresses upon the heart, nudges but he does not push or dominate. He let's man do. But the Holy Spirit can't help unless he is doing something in which He can come along and help.
All this time, I pushed and dominated. If he wasn't doing it right, then I wanted the reins so that it could be done and done right! I was convinced I was right. But how many of you know you can be right and still be wrong. Your spirit and your motives can be so corrupted with "your way" of doing things and your "need to be right" as the expense of relationship, that you miss the whole crux of the entire matter.
How can that man become comfortable in his own skin and within those "big"shoes he's trying to fill, if I keep tripping him up with my insatiable need for the reins?
Love must be our motivation. Our reason. Our fuel. The God kind of Love is the Greatest Commandment and everything springs from this. And if I will love (respect, admire, esteem, value) the men God have placed within my life, God will make sure that His daughter is taken care of and reaps the rewards of the God kind of Love.
The "S" Word or submission, although hard on the flesh and hard on my self-will, is liberating for the spirit. God's way is always the best and is the better way. How can I be sure, you ask. Because God is love, and Love never fails! Love is not a feeling. Love is a Person. Love is God! And this is my determined resolve--to truly please the Lord by obeying His commandment of Love.
Million Dollar Question:
What does respect look like in practical terms to the male leader(s) in your life, women? The tone of your voice? Eye-contact? How you speak of him in his absence and in his presence? Body language? Who's help can you solicit to serve as a live camera to mirror back to you how you are doing in this critical area?
Men, I don't have any questions for you on this one. Just pray for us. We really do need you in our lives!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
This is What It's All About
This is what it's all about! I wanted to leave a link for you to an inspiring video that will make your day.
http://www.mychurch.org/blog/30635/coolest-video-ever
Tell me what you think!
Valencia
http://www.mychurch.org/blog/30635/coolest-video-ever
Tell me what you think!
Valencia
Monday, October 15, 2007
Quiet Reflections
A few short days ago I received a call from my sister informing me that one of the students from my youth group days had passed away. He was 24 years old. Can I tell you how much it pains my heart to see a young person die before his time?! Die before"his race" ever really got started. Die before he had the chance to see what God had prepared before the ages of time-- the good paths that he should walk in.
Although much younger than me, he wanted to be around the older kids. He was kind of like the younger brother that you include in everything and sometimes have to remind yourself that he is almost a decade younger than yourself. My most vivid memories of this young man was when I served as the Assistant Drama Director for the youth ministry's drama team during my high school and college years (during college I would come home for breaks or after missions trips and help the director with script writing for upcoming fall retreats, youth rallies and what not).
I was unfailing strict--a Harvey trait that runs through my veins. And although I have lightened up a little...just a little...I had and still do possess a passion to see youth really get it! I mean, really get God. I am an advocate of mentorship and accountability and I believe that when a child or student has the appointed voice of another adult enforcing the reality of a living God in everyday life, then I believe that we can truly prevent long and dangerous detours down destructive paths.
I am passionate out missions. You know what I used to love about taking a teenager on a missions trip!? I used to love making them lead in corporate prayer and devotions or take the lead in the ministry of the laying on of hands so that they could pray the prayer of faith over an adult who was sick with a disease. When that sick person got up completely well, I knew in that moment that that teenager was convinced! He was convinced of the reality of a Savior. The scripture was no longer nice religion or good theory but it was LIFE!
Sometimes I think I am just too radical and too extreme for some. I mean I honestly believe that a child doesn't have to stray. If they stray it's because we, the Church, are a boring lot. We are stiff and we are dead. There is nothing that really challenges them, provokes them and yes, even scares them enough to come and take a closer look at a Living God. I see it in youth now. Those who have grown up in a home with BOTH parents, at church every week, etc. and yet something draws them away. The Book of James says it well when it says, "Every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed..."
I think about my desires. The good ones gone wild (out of proportion and imbalanced, my obsessions). And I think about the dark ones, too. I think about desires that run deep within our family line...generations back, that if fed rather than starved, will mean my very destruction.
Today I am thinking about the youth in my church, both past, present and future. Are they bored? Have we as the Church bored them? What about the kid that is adventurous and super-passionate? Are we channeling that sense of adventure responsibly or do we overlook it as a phase that they will grow out of? Is it phase or is it a tell-tale sign to something more?
Here's another question. Is it possible for a kid to still be entertained and have fun in church and still be bored? Deep thoughts. I mean bored in their spirits. Bored in their gut.
What about our youth that have an insatiable desire for sexual intimacy? How long has it lain dormant? When did it first surface? I know at the end of the day, you can not remove the power of choice. Free will. But I ask you, what are we doing to be a catalyst for change? I can not just sit and watch anymore youth that grew up in the church and had a legitimate relationship with Christ, turn away and loose decades of their lives to the deception of world. (the lust of the flesh, the pride of life, the deceitfulness of riches)
The Book of James goes on to say that when desire is conceived it brings forth sin and sin (when it comes to full term) brings forth death.
I have been mulling over the idea about what my response will be to this recent death. It is the second death in about a four to five year period. The first death from our youth group was a young man of 28 years of age. And if you rewind about fifteen years earlier we had two teens die to violence. Neither one was twenty years of age. Just poor decisions. Poor influences. According to two of my former youth leaders, that twenty-four year old man did get things right with God on his death bed. I am indeed grateful to God for this. But oh what life could have been!
So, I ask myself: "Valencia, how long are you going to just talk about this? What will be your response?" I don't know how often I have allowed myself to be paralyzed by indecision, passivity and doubt. Not sure of how to start, I stare numbly at the myriad of questions thinking: "If only I knew what to do."
I think I am supposed to gather the youth I grew up with. I think we need a reunion. I think we need to be reminded of how rich the good Word of God was and still is and begin to actively apply it to our lives. I think many of us need to be encouraged, hugged and told that "God is still for us and that God believes in us." I think we need to be told that we can "redeem the time lost" by the grace of God! I think we need to have our old leaders, men and women of standard, to breathe life into us again and answer the ancient question out of the Book of Ezekiel, "Can these bones live?"
To those reading this post: Please hold me accountable. Pray that I might walk in the courage and the faith to bring this thing to pass! Pray that God would begin to draw the people now, in their mid-twenties and early thirties, back unto Himself. Pray the Lord of the Harvest would send laborers out into His fields.
Millionaire Dollar Question:
Within your circle of influence, what "thing" has died that God would desire for YOU to resurrect? What's your first step?
For your reading pleasure--
I wanted to give you the full text of Scripture regarding speaking to "the dead bones" in your life (circle of influence). Oh remember that although this scripture is indeed talking about the nation of Israel in that natural sense, spiritually speaking, "Israel" is also a type and shadow of the Church. Please keep this in mind when you are reading this passage.
Exekial 37:1-14
1 The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones. 2 Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry. 3 And He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" So I answered, "O Lord God, You know." 4 Again He said to me, "Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 Thus says the Lord God to these bones: "Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord." ' " 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 Indeed, as I looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over; but there was no breath in them. 9 Also He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live." ' " 10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army. 11 Then He said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, 'Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. 13 Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. 14 I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it," says the Lord.' "
Although much younger than me, he wanted to be around the older kids. He was kind of like the younger brother that you include in everything and sometimes have to remind yourself that he is almost a decade younger than yourself. My most vivid memories of this young man was when I served as the Assistant Drama Director for the youth ministry's drama team during my high school and college years (during college I would come home for breaks or after missions trips and help the director with script writing for upcoming fall retreats, youth rallies and what not).
I was unfailing strict--a Harvey trait that runs through my veins. And although I have lightened up a little...just a little...I had and still do possess a passion to see youth really get it! I mean, really get God. I am an advocate of mentorship and accountability and I believe that when a child or student has the appointed voice of another adult enforcing the reality of a living God in everyday life, then I believe that we can truly prevent long and dangerous detours down destructive paths.
I am passionate out missions. You know what I used to love about taking a teenager on a missions trip!? I used to love making them lead in corporate prayer and devotions or take the lead in the ministry of the laying on of hands so that they could pray the prayer of faith over an adult who was sick with a disease. When that sick person got up completely well, I knew in that moment that that teenager was convinced! He was convinced of the reality of a Savior. The scripture was no longer nice religion or good theory but it was LIFE!
Sometimes I think I am just too radical and too extreme for some. I mean I honestly believe that a child doesn't have to stray. If they stray it's because we, the Church, are a boring lot. We are stiff and we are dead. There is nothing that really challenges them, provokes them and yes, even scares them enough to come and take a closer look at a Living God. I see it in youth now. Those who have grown up in a home with BOTH parents, at church every week, etc. and yet something draws them away. The Book of James says it well when it says, "Every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed..."
I think about my desires. The good ones gone wild (out of proportion and imbalanced, my obsessions). And I think about the dark ones, too. I think about desires that run deep within our family line...generations back, that if fed rather than starved, will mean my very destruction.
Today I am thinking about the youth in my church, both past, present and future. Are they bored? Have we as the Church bored them? What about the kid that is adventurous and super-passionate? Are we channeling that sense of adventure responsibly or do we overlook it as a phase that they will grow out of? Is it phase or is it a tell-tale sign to something more?
Here's another question. Is it possible for a kid to still be entertained and have fun in church and still be bored? Deep thoughts. I mean bored in their spirits. Bored in their gut.
What about our youth that have an insatiable desire for sexual intimacy? How long has it lain dormant? When did it first surface? I know at the end of the day, you can not remove the power of choice. Free will. But I ask you, what are we doing to be a catalyst for change? I can not just sit and watch anymore youth that grew up in the church and had a legitimate relationship with Christ, turn away and loose decades of their lives to the deception of world. (the lust of the flesh, the pride of life, the deceitfulness of riches)
The Book of James goes on to say that when desire is conceived it brings forth sin and sin (when it comes to full term) brings forth death.
I have been mulling over the idea about what my response will be to this recent death. It is the second death in about a four to five year period. The first death from our youth group was a young man of 28 years of age. And if you rewind about fifteen years earlier we had two teens die to violence. Neither one was twenty years of age. Just poor decisions. Poor influences. According to two of my former youth leaders, that twenty-four year old man did get things right with God on his death bed. I am indeed grateful to God for this. But oh what life could have been!
So, I ask myself: "Valencia, how long are you going to just talk about this? What will be your response?" I don't know how often I have allowed myself to be paralyzed by indecision, passivity and doubt. Not sure of how to start, I stare numbly at the myriad of questions thinking: "If only I knew what to do."
I think I am supposed to gather the youth I grew up with. I think we need a reunion. I think we need to be reminded of how rich the good Word of God was and still is and begin to actively apply it to our lives. I think many of us need to be encouraged, hugged and told that "God is still for us and that God believes in us." I think we need to be told that we can "redeem the time lost" by the grace of God! I think we need to have our old leaders, men and women of standard, to breathe life into us again and answer the ancient question out of the Book of Ezekiel, "Can these bones live?"
To those reading this post: Please hold me accountable. Pray that I might walk in the courage and the faith to bring this thing to pass! Pray that God would begin to draw the people now, in their mid-twenties and early thirties, back unto Himself. Pray the Lord of the Harvest would send laborers out into His fields.
Millionaire Dollar Question:
Within your circle of influence, what "thing" has died that God would desire for YOU to resurrect? What's your first step?
For your reading pleasure--
I wanted to give you the full text of Scripture regarding speaking to "the dead bones" in your life (circle of influence). Oh remember that although this scripture is indeed talking about the nation of Israel in that natural sense, spiritually speaking, "Israel" is also a type and shadow of the Church. Please keep this in mind when you are reading this passage.
Exekial 37:1-14
1 The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones. 2 Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry. 3 And He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" So I answered, "O Lord God, You know." 4 Again He said to me, "Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 Thus says the Lord God to these bones: "Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord." ' " 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 Indeed, as I looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over; but there was no breath in them. 9 Also He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live." ' " 10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army. 11 Then He said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, 'Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. 13 Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. 14 I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it," says the Lord.' "
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